| im still missing you like crazy |
[13 May 2006|09:01pm] |
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Rascall Flatts *What hurts the most* |
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well..today has been a sad day.. We got news today that Tim Mallett was killed in a motorcycle accident. He is my Aunt Donna's Boyfriend's Brother. Its really sad..And it made me think so much about life and kinda what i did today,which i do regret
Today i got a phone call about the rent not being paid at the apartment,and with my name still being on the lease im still responsible for it not being paid. Well i was pissed off so i called Josh and started yelling at him.Because my name was already suppossed to be off the lease. Well then about an hour later we got the news about Tim. So now ive been thinking and regreting yelling at Josh for the whole rent thing because life is to short and you never know when it will be over. And im still am so madly in love with Josh that i cant stand it anymore,and if something was to happen to him i would lose it. So i want so bad to call him and atleast tell him im sorry for yelling at him today about the rent. Even though him and i arent together anymore,he still feels like a big part of my life and still has my heart. ANd it sucks because i dont want him to have my heart anymore. I just want to move on because i know he doesnt feel the same way about me..
But anyways.. i need a life really really bad...
well im outtie
love ya
carla
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| *I Have* |
[12 May 2006|05:34pm] |
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SO my sister allyson wrote this poem for me.She said I inspired her,because of the situation i am now. Today has been one of those days,and it only started out like this because of a song i heard on the radio during lunch break. I think its called i Miss you SO..
well here is the poem ally wrote me..
I have walked through his valleys
I have ran through his fields
I have taken his bullets
And held up his shields
I have controlled myself
I have let others go
I have been tempted
But never let it show
I have listened to commands
I have done what I was told
I have changed myself
When things started to get old
I have helped him many times
I have caught his every tear
I have always done him right
So why isn’t he still here?
well now just sitting at my grandmothers waiting for a phone call from previous landlord and from shawn...im outtie..not in a mood today...
Carla
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| * I havent smiled like this in a long time* |
[11 May 2006|06:04pm] |
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Murphy Lee |
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*well..last night was probably the best night that ive had in a long time! I went to the movies with Shawn Jacques.We went and saw *larry the cable guy Health Inspector*;) It was really funny. Shawn helped me get my mind off things.Which made me feel better. Not saying im jumping into another relationship right now, because that isnt going to happen! I like shawn,but just not ready to get into another relationship and its to soon.I just want to have some fun for awhile. No commitments no tie downs. Plus i got school and my job to focus on right now. Right now the only thing that will getting my heart is my job and school. Right now ONLY time will tell if ill be getting into another relationship.
But today i went to school. I was on the clinic floor. I had 2 clients today. They were both sweet ladies. Then Linda colored my hair for me.It looks SOO GOOD! After lunch we had a meeting with MR.Fouriner,he isnt to happy with whats been going on at the school. Then i found out that my job called and cancelled training for tonight. So i didnt have to work,which kinda sucks because i was looking foward to it. My friends at school, kept telling me "Gosh carla i havent seen you smile like that in a long time!:)" It made me feel really good. Just knowing i can move on with my life and be happy and finally focus on what i want.;)
well anyways get this i was headed home today and stopped at the store in Turner,and i put 25.00 worth of gas in my car,and i went to go write a check out and the guy wouldnt take my check because noone knew me in that store. Im like and what would you like me to do i already have 25.00 gas in my car? He goes youll have to stay here until you can find money to pay for it. So this guy i didnt know came up to me and gave me cash to pay for my gas and i just wrote him out a check.That was so NICE of him. THANK YOU!
welll anyways im outtie...
Carla
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| Start of my new life |
[09 May 2006|06:23pm] |
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*LeAn WIth IT* |
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*~Well...this is the start of my new life. and today was pretty much the first day!!:) and you know something im very proud of myself. I went to school today, I was a little late,but i made it!! I was on the desk all day. It was quite busy if you ask me...haha;) But then i went to work (Bath & Body Works) and had to finish paperwork...YUCKY! But i did it...hehe..
well other then that nothing really happend today..i have a doctors appointment in the morning and then back to school..I have the night off from work. GO to work thursday 630-830pm...what am i going to do in auburn for 2 hours??? Ill find something to do i guess..
im outtie...
Carla
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| im still very much in love with you |
[06 May 2006|11:11am] |
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*rascal flatts* |
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*well the last couple days have been the worst for me. I was with someone for 2 years,he was the best thing that ever happend to me.We were engaged, actually getting married july 21 2007,planning our future together.I was so incredibly happy.yea our relationship wasnt perfect but what relationship is right?? I really dont know why its over now,cuz he wont give me the time of day right now. Which sucks because i want answers. Something happend yesterday that made me so mad,that i was able to finally smile,and realise i dont deserve to be treated like this.But, i still want so bad to hate him right now, and to just move on with my life. But, i just cant shut my feelings off for someone that i gave everything to for 2 years within just a matter of hours or days. I am still very madly in love with him,and that is NEVER going to change.but what can you do right??
*~Josh i am missing you like crazy right now,(even though you dont feel the same) i will always love you and never forget the good times and bad times we have had together.Youll always be a part of my life even if we end up with different people in the future..i really hope that your happy,you deserve the best in life and good luck*~
anyways..im going back to school tuesday i think. i have to go talk to mr.fournier about everything so he knows why i took a leave of absence.monday i have to go get my own insurance on my car.im going through state farm insurance.then wednesday i have a *female* doctors appointment that i HAVE to go to.. Then next on the 17th i have a dentist appointment in augusta. Then July 1st me and leeanna are going to waycross georgia to visit with my sisters and dad. I talked to my cousin amy,and sister allyson last night and they both made me laugh which i havent done since monday. I am trying hard to get through this,its going to be hard but i know i gotta do it. i gotta keep telling myself that *he doesnt want you in his life anymore* and the more i tell myself that then maybe one day down the road i can finally move on with my life. i gotta start thinking about carla now,i gotta get my credit cards paid off,focus on my school,job,and career.but as im writing this and keep telling myself i gotta do this all i want to do is cry.because its not what i want to do its what i need to do. I spent 2 years of my life giving someone every second of every day,which i dont regret at all.so i guess its my turn.
im going to try to eat some lunch...
love always
carla
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